My Blessings...

I've been feeling a little low lately. I cannot honestly say why, but I can say, it's getting a little old. I decided it was time to count my blessings. This is an exercise I use often when I'm feeling down and out, to remind me that I have so much, and I am taking all of it for granted and being grumpy, sometimes, about things that don't matter much in the big scheme of things. I also decided that counting my blessings to myself, though helping emotionally, isn't really keeping me accountable. So, your job is to keep me accountable. I am throwing all of my blessings out there so someone, anyone, can stop me in my grumpiest state and say "Hey! Didn't you just say you were thankful for..." I am going to dedicate the next 7 days to counting my blessings, one per day, for all to see...

Blessing #1 - My Faith
This is my number one blessing because this is the most solid. My faith is consistent even when I am not. I admit that I am not the most committed Christian on the planet. Regrettably, I go through phases, sometimes living in my devotions, and other times going months without stepping within 100 feet of a church. It's not that I love God any less from one minute to the next. It's the classic story of allowing myself to get wrapped up in other things and becoming too "busy." I am just starting to realize that when I become too busy for God, God seems to become too "busy" for me. Not in the sense of abandonment. I truly believe that He is there every step of the way. But in the sense that, if I don't pray, how can I expect Him to answer me? It's as if he is stepping back saying "Ok Jen, you think you can handle this alone? I'm just going to sit this one out. I will be right over here waiting for you to realize that you need me." I know God would never let me fall too hard, but sometimes you need some scrapes and bruises to learn the lessons. During these times, things don't go so well. The frustrations pile up. Nothing goes as planned. The car breaks down the same day a massive debt is due and I have to work a double shift. Accounting homework is due and I can't for the life of me figure it out and oh crap, I'm sick again. My cell phone is broken but in hindsight I probably shouldn't have thrown it at the wall during that argument with my husband. After a few weeks of this, I finally fall to my knees, throw my hands in the air and cry "ok! Alright! I give up. You take over." And just like that, things seem to get easier, or at least less painful. I pick up my Bible and go off to church, where I am welcomed with open arms and "we've missed you"s. The answers to the accounting homework just come to me. I can't even remember what the argument was about and oh look! I have insurance on my phone... and the wall. And there is God, standing over me with a big "I told you so" grin on His face. He doesn't need to speak to get his message across. "I was here the whole time. You're the one who strayed." I am so blessed. My faith never waivers. My Father never walks away. There is always the safety net of Christ below me. My question to you is: Why is it our nature to keep trying to take on life alone? Shouldn't we know better by now? I know I should.